Inuyasha's Anguish
by InuHanyouLuver
Summary: Everyone knows that Inuyasha thought he was betrayed by Kikyo, and he never talks about it. But what was really going through his mind when it all happened? One shot.


**a/n: This is my view of the very beginning of the series, when Inuyasha goes to steal the jewel. I hope you like it! :-) Please review! Please take a few extra minutes to review, because that's the only way i know if I was able to correctly portray Inuyasha's views... Sooo pretty pretty please with ice cream on top review!!!!**

**anyways, on with the oneshot!**

Pain.

Excruciating pain.

It ran through my body. From the tips of my ears right on down to my toes, it pulsed and burned, like fire was racing through my veins. The fire engulfed me, leaving every one of my nerves raw and sensitive. The cause of this pain? As shameful as I am to admit it, this pain is not from an external wound, but one to my heart. The pain I was experiencing was heartache.

How could I be so damn stupid? I'm a half demon. My whole _existence_ is built around pain. But I _trusted _her! I almost think I _loved _her. The first time I open myself up even partially to anyone for years, and the first thing she does is kick me where it hurts. She betrayed me. It hurt almost as much as when my mother died. Almost.

I sprint through the forest, trying to run fast enough to escape the pain. But it stays with me, step for step. And that made me angry. _'Why did I even trust her anyway? I must have been really desperate for company.' _My growl echoes through the trees. "Damn you _wench_!" I seethe. I can't bring myself to say her name. It hurts too much.

Suddenly, a strong, overpowering desire fills me to get revenge against this despicable wench that has caused me so much pain. There was only one way I could get back at her. It rests with the reason I had ever started following her in the first place. The Shikon No Tama. My ticket to becoming a full-fledged demon and it's a one-way ticket out of my misery. Stealing that would really tick her off.

I laughed quietly to myself. I shift my direction towards the village, sensing that _she _was nowhere to be found. I ran through the village, where the weak humans tried to take me down. Hah! As if they could actually do that! I ripped through the nets like they were spider webs, and dodged the arrows with ease.

I rocketed up in the air, and descended quickly, the air rushing through my hair. Joy overtook my senses, a giddy happiness at the fact that I could hurt her just as bad as she hurt me. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, erasing the sluggish effects of my heartache from my muscles.

I dived into the shine that held the shikon jewel, wood scattering everywhere. I covered my nose to prevent myself from passing out. Strong insences were burned to prevent demons with sensitive noses like mine from getting at the jewel. Even though the smell was dampened by my robe, it was still strong, stinging my nose and my eyes watered. But there's no way in hell that I wasn't going to get the shikon jewel now.

I quickly grasped the smooth jewel in my hand and quickly turned around as the villagers ran into the room and tried to shoot me with arrows again. It was enough to make me want to roll my eyes. I mean, if they didn't get me before, what makes them think they can get me now? The idiots knocked over one of the torches, and fire quickly started to lap at my feet. Time to get the hell outa here!

I push off hard from the ground, bursting through the roof again. It crumbled and caved under me, giving in to the stress of the fire and the holes I'd created. The smirk on my face froze into place as I tried to forget about the men that were trapped in the building. But all I had to do is think of all the people who had ridiculed me and the guilt is gone in a flash and is replaced by anger and bittersweet victory.

'_Why is the whole world against me? What have I done to deserve this fate?' _I clutch the shikon jewel in my hand, feeling the power pulse through it. "Finally- A way for me to become all-demon at last…" I say, relieved that my torture would be over. I would no longer be ridiculed for the human blood that runs through my veins.

Suddenly _Her_ blood hits my nose hard, but I suppress the worry in my heart. What does it matter to me now? I don't give a rat's ass about what happens to her. Or, at least, that's what I keep telling myself. I have to get away now. I can't see her face. If I did, I…. I don't know what I'd do.

She shouts my name, a mixture of bitter anger, disbelief, and to my surprise, I can detect a hint of sadness. I'm nearing Goshinboku, her favorite tree. The Tree of Ages, she called it. Not that I care or nothin'. I hear the flit of the arrow as it shoots through the air, and I know I'm screwed. There's no way in hell that I had a hope for dodging it, she has the best aim in the village. But I can try.

I'm jumping in slow motion, passing right in front of the stupid tree. The arrow pierces my heart, pinning me to the damn tree. Real pain erupts, adding on to the misery of before, and I feel the effects of the spell taking effect. It felt like fifty pound weights were on my eye lids, trying to drag me into sleep. But I resist.

The shikon jewel had fallen from my grasp, but my hand was still out in my weak attempt to grab it in the air. I look up at my murderer. She's standing there, bleeding from her shoulder. "Ki-Kikyou." I manage to say. "How could… I thought…" I managed to say before all my energy leaves me. My hand lowers, and I watch Kikyou fall to the ground.

'_Am I going to die like this?' _A flashback plays through my mind as I once again see love run through her eyes as she had looked at me. Had I done something wrong in between yesterday and today? It started to get hard to think, taking extreme focus to form any coherent thought. _ 'I guess that's ok. Kikyou, even though it ended like this, I still love-' _

All conciousness leaves me dumping me into a world of silence and dark.


End file.
